Understanding Non-Romantic, Emotional Bonding in Queer Partnerships
Queerplatonic relationships (QPRs) are a unique form of close, committed interpersonal connections that go beyond traditional platonic friendships but do not fit the conventional framework of romantic or sexual relationships. These relationships, which are deeply committed and intense, challenge traditional relationship models by offering all the benefits of any meaningful relationship, including stability, long-term companionship, chosen family, freedom to redefine boundaries, space for inclusivity, emotional safety, and empowerment [1][2][3].
Characteristics of Queerplatonic Relationships
QPRs are characterised by emotional intimacy, primary importance, and non-romantic and sometimes non-sexual nature. They often involve a level of emotional closeness and priority similar to romantic partnerships, but without romantic feelings [3]. These relationships can incorporate elements of companionship, emotional support, and physical closeness while remaining distinct from purely platonic, romantic, or sexual relationships [1].
Examples often cited for QPRs include partners who consider each other their chosen family or life partners without romantic attraction, best friends who live together and share lives with intimacy and commitment similar to couples but do not identify romantically, and relationships where people have physical affection (like hugging or cuddling) but without romantic or sexual intention.
Navigating Queerplatonic Relationships
Effective communication is crucial in any type of partnership, including queerplatonic relationships, and defining healthy expectations will strengthen the bond. Managing external assumptions and pressures about the relationship is important for the emotional and mental well-being of the partners. Recognition, support, and affirmation from family, friends, and therapists can help QPR partners feel valued and seen in their relationships.
Online couples therapy or individual counseling can provide guidance and support in navigating a non-traditional connection or understanding labels. Discussing exclusivity, emotional availability, living arrangements, long-term goals, and dreams for the future are important topics to discuss in a queerplatonic relationship. Communication and creating healthy relationship boundaries are crucial in QPRs, and both partners should decide what their relationship looks like and how they describe it.
Defining and Labelling Queerplatonic Relationships
"Queer" in the context of QPRs doesn't necessarily refer to different gender identities or the sexuality spectrum, but breaks from the standards of heteronormativity and amatonormativity. Clear and straightforward language should be used when discussing the relationship to avoid confusion. Both partners should be comfortable with the language used to define and explain their connection. Using clear and straightforward language, setting boundaries, only opening up when comfortable, redirecting conversations when needed, and affirming the commitment to the queerplatonic relationship can help keep conversations productive and safe.
Seeking out community spaces that normalize, celebrate, and recognise relationship diversity can help reduce stigma and offer a sense of belonging. There's no official checklist for queerplatonic relationships, but emotional closeness and commitment, a desire for partnership without romance or sex, shared responsibilities or life decisions, and feeling misaligned with traditional relationship labels can be indicators.
In summary, queerplatonic relationships represent a distinct form of close, committed interpersonal connection that challenges traditional categories of relationship types, emphasising emotional depth and partnership without romance as the defining feature [1][2][3][5]. Having a plan for how to respond to questions or comments about the relationship can help protect emotional health. Discussing and establishing shared definitions and labels for the relationship is important to honour the commitment between partners.
- In navigating a queerplatonic relationship, couples therapy or individual counseling can offer guidance and support to help partners define healthy expectations, manage external pressures, and create a strong connect.
- Queerplatonic relationships, whether characterized by emotional intimacy, primary importance, or a non-romantic nature, share much in common with traditional relationships, making education and self-development crucial in understanding and defining these unique partnerships.
