Individuals Who Embrace Self-Love and Steer Clear of Carrying Shame Tend to Exhibit These Three Characteristics
In a world where self-care and mental health have become increasingly important, psychologist, wellness coach, and intuitive Reiki master Susan Franklin offers a guide to cultivating self-love as a vital practice for mental and emotional well-being. Her book, "Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It", was published in 2016.
Franklin suggests that viewing oneself as a landscape can be helpful. Shame, she says, can be likened to a stinking, poisoned pond. But like any pond, it can be purified over time. The key is to let go of emotions and resistance, a strategy that can reduce the intensity of painful emotions and make it easier to do in the moment.
Healing shame, Franklin explains, is rooted in loving oneself deeply. This process involves a series of steps, starting with a short meditation for grounding in the body. One then creates a large container for feelings, expands one's energy field, connects with the second chakra, tunes into emotions and sensations in the body, and begins the process of letting go.
Refusing to buy into messages that one is not enough, unworthy, unlovable, or deserving of shame is crucial in the healing process. Instead, one should acknowledge, love, and release painful wounds and feelings. This approach, Franklin believes, leads to healing, rather than fighting with oneself.
Loving actions toward oneself can take many forms. They can include treating oneself well, making eye contact and speaking loving things in the mirror, using loving mantras, giving oneself compliments, buying oneself flowers or love notes, making oneself a special meal, hugging oneself to sleep, taking hot baths, getting one's hair done, wearing clothes that make one feel good, and getting rid of clothes that don't.
People who truly love themselves usually act lovingly toward themselves. Constantly berating oneself, Franklin warns, is harmful, like continually drinking from a poisoned pond. Instead, one should strive to act with kindness and compassion towards oneself, just as one would towards a dear friend or loved one.
Shame, Franklin notes, is associated with health and mental health problems, unsuccessful relationships, depression, anxiety, and general dissatisfaction with life. By embracing self-love and healing shame, one can lead a healthier, happier, and more fulfilling life.
It takes practice every day to develop self-love, but the rewards are worth it. As Franklin puts it, "Healing comes from acknowledging, loving, and releasing, not from fighting with oneself." So, take a deep breath, embrace self-love, and start your journey towards healing and well-being today.
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