Habits Persistently Manifested by Adults Raised Under Strict Upbringing
Strict parents can leave some lasting impacts on their kid's adult lives, and these residual effects aren't always pretty. Here, we're shining a spotlight on 11 things people who were raised under strict parents still catch themselves doing as grown-ups, many unknowingly.
Watch out for these behaviors, employers, friends, and romantic partners—they could be signs of a hidden struggle.
1. People-pleasing:
Growing up with strict parents means hearing phrases like "You never listen!" or "Why can't you do things right the first time?" Worse, Get it done, or else! As an adult, this translates to putting others' needs above your own, leaving your self-worth in their hands. Who knew people-pleasing could emerge as a toxic byproduct of that guilt trip?
2. Over-explaining life choices:
When your upbringing involved a constant barrage of interrogation and judgement, it's easy to slip into over-explaining your life choices out of fear that you'll end up on the receiving end of yet another lecture. You could either seem needy, or worse, apologetic, but hey—better safe than sorry!
3. Avoiding confrontation:
Who needs arguments and uncomfortable conversations when you can bury your feelings and ignore the issues, right? Strict parents often whip up avoidance skills in their kids by ignoring or suppressing difficult conversations at home. Fast forward to the future—you're a human pretzel, twisting yourself up to avoid conflicts.
4. Developing unrealistic expectations:
When your parents' love, admiration, and affection were tightly linked to your accomplishments, you end up chasing perfection till kingdom come. Even as an adult, you struggle to break out the superhuman cape and embrace reality.
5. Shaming yourself:
"If Mommy's unhappy, then Daddy will be unhappy, and I don't want them to fight," sounds about right? Everything's your fault, kid. You're the shit that brought the grizzly bears to the picnic. That kind of thinking sticks, leaving a trail of self-doubt and inadequacy in adulthood.
6. Avoiding vulnerability and commitment:
Growing up, did you feel that any expression of emotional needs or desires was met with disapproval and rejection? As an adult, it gets harder to trust and open up, making vulnerability a rarity and commitment a four-letter word.
7. Tolerating misbehavior:
The strict parenting blueprint doesn't really cover much ground on coping with the realities of relationships—whether friendships, romantic relationships, or the workplace. As a result, you end tolerating toxic behavior as an adult, from micromanagement at work to passively aggressive bosses or dealing with codependent relationships.
8. Self-sabotaging:
Missed promotions, lost friendships, failed relationships—it all starts to feel like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Deep-rooted insecurities and fears of not being good enough make you self-sabotage your own happiness. It's like the universe is deliberately set on clicking the self-destruct button without your consent.
9. Overworking yourself:
Perfectionism meets an excessive need for control, and you're on the road to burnout. Throw in self-doubt and a subconscious quest to prove yourself, and you've got yourself a recipe for overworking yourself until there's literally no chip left on your shoulder.
10. Struggling to make decisions:
Did you know that authoritarian parenting can stifle your ability to think for yourself? As an adult, you might struggle with making decisions based on your own judgment or fear external validation to cope with the discomfort of independence.
11. Seeking out toxic partners:
Toxic relationships that mirror your family dynamics can be a comfort zone you may unwittingly gravitate towards as an adult. By seeking out partners with familiar behavior patterns, you can feel a sense of control over them, quelling that underlying insecurity in the process.
- In their personal and professional lives, adults who were raised under strict parents may find themselves pleasing others excessively, often leading their self-worth to be dependent on others' approval.
- Over-explaining life choices is a behavior that some adults developed as a result of constant interrogation and judgement from their strict parents.
- Struggling with confrontation is a common consequence of strict parenting, with some adults instinctively avoiding difficult conversations and topics of discussion.
- Pursuing unrealistic expectations in relationships and work can be a lasting impact from strict parenting, where love, admiration, and affection were often linked to accomplishments.
- Riddled with self-doubt and inadequacy, adults raised under strict parents may struggle to trust and open up, making vulnerability and commitment seem daunting.
- Tolerating toxic behavior in various aspects of life, such as work, friendships, and relationships, is common among adults who were raised under strict parents.
- A tendency to self-sabotage can be a response to deep-rooted insecurities and fears of not being good enough, often leading to missed opportunities and failed relationships.
- Overworking oneself becomes a coping mechanism for perfectionists and those with an excessive need for control, leading to burnout and exhaustion.
- Struggling to make decisions independently can be a side effect of authoritarian parenting, with some adults relying on external validation for comfort and a sense of direction.
- Seeking out toxic partners who exhibit familiar behavior patterns can be a comfort zone for adults who were raised under strict parents, as it allows them to feel a sense of control over their relationships and provide a distorted sense of security.
- Pursuing education in self-development, personal growth, and wellness can help adults who were raised under strict parents better understand and cope with their mental and emotional scars, allowing for healthier relationships, a more balanced lifestyle, and overall growth.
